Fall Invasion
I’m a fan of science fiction, particularly the alien-invasion subgenre. I was recently reminded of the 1997 movie “Starship Troopers.” It wasn’t because I caught an old rerun on TNT or stumbled across it on a streaming service. No, the reminder came courtesy of the black, orange, and red insects invading my home.
I’m guessing many of you have been dealing with these little pests, better known as Asian lady beetles and boxelder bugs. Fortunately, they’re nothing like the giant, man-eating insects in the movie.
There are plenty of things to love about fall in Minnesota. I’ve written about the brilliant autumn colors, the crisp morning air, football, and fishing. And I’m sure there are plenty of other seasonal pleasures I’ve overlooked.
It’s easy to focus on the things we enjoy, but we shouldn’t always look at the world through rose-colored glasses. Otherwise, we risk becoming a little too optimistic about reality. As the saying goes, “Keep it real.”
Just when you think autumn couldn’t get any better, multilegged freeloaders decide your house looks like the perfect place to spend the winter. From what I’ve read, Asian lady beetles and boxelder bugs begin their takeover by gathering on the sunny side of your home, searching for a warm place to ride out the cold Minnesota months.
They don’t believe in making reservations, asking permission, respecting private property, or paying rent. They simply show up unannounced, much like the Cousin Eddie character at Christmas time.
Asian lady beetles seem to materialize out of thin air. One minute, everything is fine. Next, there’s a little orange beetle crawling across the wall. You’re left scratching your head, wondering if it has spent years perfecting some sort of teleportation trick.
Boxelder bugs, with their black bodies and bright red-orange markings, gather around windows, doors, and siding. Their presence makes me feel as though my home is undergoing a surprise inspection. They creep along slowly, occasionally taking a short flight to another part of the window before landing and resuming their patrol. I can only assume they’re looking for a way inside.
In a way, they’d make excellent building inspectors. If there’s a crack in a seam, they’ll find it. The problem is that they won’t notify the foreman to correct the issue or offer you a ride to the hardware store to pick up a tube of caulk so you can fix it yourself. Instead, they squeeze through the opening and take up residence inside your four walls.
At first, I noticed only a couple of boxelder bugs crawling along the front of my home. Then I spotted another, followed by another. Eventually, one managed to breach the perimeter and make it inside.
I dispatched the intruder and felt a brief sense of pride for defending the homeland. Then I moved the curtain beside the living room window and discovered two more.
That was when I had to accept reality. You can shut the doors, lock the windows, inspect the weatherstripping, and seal every crack you can find. It doesn’t seem to matter.
I also read that these insects can survive the winter inside your home. They enter a state called diapause, which is somewhat similar to hibernation. During this period, they remain largely inactive, neither moving around nor eating much, until warmer weather arrives and they become active again.
When I learned that, I had to accept another reality: You can’t beat Mother Nature.
I suppose I can tolerate a few Asian lady beetles and boxelder bugs rooming with me this winter, provided they keep a low profile and stay hidden behind the sheetrock.
Minnesota winters are long, and I suppose every creature deserves a little shelter from the cold. Just don’t expect me to invite them for eggnog during the holidays.
